is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
