whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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