Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
