We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize