Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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