Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
