drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sobbing to NWA
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