did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize