Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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