I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
