apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize