Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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