Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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