I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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