would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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