Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
