Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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