sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
