Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
