Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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