Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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