she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
