i don't plan on having that self control this summer
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
