Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
