My first STD was from a foam party
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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