The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
