i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
sex in a hospital.. check
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
