Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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