I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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