she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
