I can tuck mytits in my pants
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize