I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
