i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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