I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
