I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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