I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
