You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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