Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
