You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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