marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
