you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
