Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
