piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
