why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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