This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
40s are totally the cure
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
