Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
