dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
