he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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