Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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