They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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