You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The best revenge is premature balding
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
