guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
