Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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