omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
