i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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