She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
