I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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