That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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