R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
