Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
