he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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