It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
