im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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