Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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