My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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