She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
