The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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